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Katy Award Program honors the achievement of the company it really doesn’t know while stroking companies’ egos with meaningless statues
KATY, Texas — Feb. 10, 2020 — OAK Interactive was recently notified that it has been selected for the 2020 Best of Katy Award in the Merchandising & Marketing Consultants category by the Katy Award Program, an organization that the full-service marketing and advertising agency has never heard of.
“We were so honored to have received such an accolade, but we were a bit puzzled as to how they chose us over all the other companies in Katy,” said Mark Hayden, chief marketing officer of OAK Interactive. “We’re pretty sure they’re in the business of selling some plaque or a cheap statue, but we have a whole closet full of those that we bought on clearance from a trophy store. But they think we’re the best, so … there’s that …” he trailed off while eating a handful of cashews.
According to the Katy Award Program, “Each year, the Katy Award Program identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and our community. These exceptional companies help make the Katy area a great place to live, work and play.”
“We asked them what information they had gathered and they didn’t really say,” said Moses Robles, CEO, OAK Interactive. “I was led to believe that we had won a lottery for a chance to purchase some plaque a cheap statue for just a few hundred bucks. We think that the awarding board found us through our search engine optimization efforts, which have ranked us near the top of important search engine results for our targeted keywords. Either way, we have this amazing opportunity to buy a piece of wood or plastic. We may need a doorstop one day. Or I may get very angry with Mark and may need something to throw at him.”
Moses added that he would place the award prominently on a shelf next to his “World’s Best Dad” mug that his daughters persuaded him to buy the last time they were at Cracker Barrel.
“Because I have that mug, every day, I have proof that I am the World’s Best Dad,” his eyes becoming shrink-wrapped with tears.
The Katy Awards Program release continues, “Various sources of information were gathered and analyzed to choose the winners in each category. The 2020 Katy Award Program focuses on quality, not quantity. Winners are determined based on the information gathered both internally by the Katy Award Program and data provided by third parties.”
Hayden added, “We’ve won awards for both our marketing results and our creative work, but this one is unique. This one gives us the opportunity to call ourselves the ‘Best in Katy’ and display some plaque or a cheap statue for just a few hundred bucks. This statue speaks volumes to our ability to buy cheap awards from questionably credible organizations we’ve never heard of. Clients will have an awkward peace of mind knowing that they’re dealing with the Best of Katy Award recipient in the Merchandising & Marketing Consultants category for 2020.
Unfortunately, this honor is only for a year. Next year, we’ll have to do this all over again.”
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